Was Your Child Recently Diagnosed With Autism? Don't Panic, Celebrate!
So many other parents have navigated these roads, and we’re here for you.
Have you and your child just finished the grueling process of getting an autism diagnosis? You aren’t alone in your struggles, and we’re here for you at Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents Blog. Subscribe here to be part of our compassionate parenting community.
My best advice is to first tend to the parents: get supports in place for your own mental health and self-care, which includes community.
*Throughout this post, I’ll ask experienced parents to weigh in so we can create a broader field of support for new parents. What’s your best advice?
3 Reassuring Instagram Reels From a Parent Who’s Been There:
1. I Have a Secret to Tell You…
REEL: They have always had autism.
It's okay. They're still the same kid. Now you know what they need, and you can get them the support that they're entitled to. Take a breath. We're here for you. It isn’t an easy path, it is one that will require you to grow.
Your kid is still the same beloved child, and now you know what they need!
They now have a diagnosis that will open doors to the support that they are entitled to. You will learn how to open those doors. If you run at them all at once you will exhaust yourself.
Pace yourself:
Pause the Googling, and get some rest.
Keep a list of recommendations you can refer to later, and take a beat.
Take time to let the diagnosis settle in your heart.
Spend time with your family, appreciating your autistic child just as they are, and holding space for whoever they become.
Take a breath, and know that you are not alone.
So many other parents have navigated these roads, and we’re here for you. *Experienced parents, what reassuring message do you have for new parents?
There will be ups and downs, but you and your family have just taken a big step toward learning what your child needs, and now you can pause before the next step.
Yes, you can pause.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. Get supports in place for your own mental health and self-care. Seek out a community of parents who understand.
2. Does Your Kid Have Delayed Development?
When your kid’s development is delayed it can bring up feelings. You see your kid struggle. It’s so hard…
REEL: Can we skip to the good part?
No! The hard part is actually the best part! We have to let them struggle and make mistakes so they gain confidence and strength.
We can make our own mistakes and learn from them. When you make mistakes and learn from them, it’s called Growth Mindset. Learn all you can about this mindset and practice it to free yourself from perfectionism (in case you’re burdened by it like many of us).
Celebrate your kid’s growth process, no matter how uncomfortable you feel about it.
Here’s to NOT skipping any of it!
We can breathe through the hard part, but we can’t skip over it.
*Do you have a memory with your kid that this reminds you of? A hard-earned moment? Tell us in the comments.
3. Don’t Panic!
REEL: 😱 Don’t fret about getting all the therapies for your child ASAP!
Your child is not a ticking time bomb. ⏰💣 Remember, they’re the same person they were yesterday. 🤗 They will get the support, and it will help them, but…
What they need most is you. Your calm and grounded nervous system and unconditional love can help them a lot more than anything else.
A diagnosis is a way to help understand and support your kid’s needs better. This is good news, because you have new information that will help your kid. It’s helpful to get support. If the evaluator didn’t make recommendations for specific therapies and supports, you can go back and ask them. If you can, add one therapy at a time so that you can figure out what actually helps your kid.
*Experienced parents, what therapies have had the most impact on your kid over time?
“This is so lovely, Ocean has some great advice. I really love this model of asking our kids for their perspective and experiences. It informs our parenting, helps us respond to their needs, and teaches them that they are worthy of being heard, that they can cause change. Thank you!”
-
Know someone who needs to read this? Please invite them to join us:
My Autistic 9 Year Old's Advice…
That You May Not Want to Hear
It’s sound advice for parents of atypical kids, from Ocean as he began his 5th grade year, amid pandemic confusion. He offered simple, logical suggestions about parenting anyone, really, in a mindful, observant and collaborative way. Ocean had some thoughts about when parents should tell their kid about their diagnosis.
Ruminating about the past or expecting ourselves to be perfect parents isn't helpful. Befriend the feelings, learn the lessons, let it go, or if you can’t…
Give Yourself Compassion:
You’re not alone in feeling this way.
Things will get easier for your family.
Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend.
Therapy and self-care for myself have helped my whole family so much more than most of the interventions for my kid.
As parents of atypical kids, we are going to experience overwhelm, isolation, and uncertainty. We can still cultivate joyful moments, and those moments will help us feel more connected, kind and present with our kids.
New here? Hi! I’m Kate Lynch (she/her), a mindful parenting coach and yoga teacher, specializing in supporting highly sensitive parents of neurodivergent kids. I work privately and in small groups to provide personal attention and support.
I’m here for you. Let me know what you want to read about here.
As Kate says, self-care is vital to avoid burnout. Keep a loving connection with your child - that's all that truly matters! Be wary of which therapy and how much therapy your child does. Therapies should be fun and supportive, not operate under the guise of changing or "normalizing" your child in any way. You may inadvertently overwhelm them and cause trauma and resentment. Neurodivergence is nothing to be ashamed of; disclose their diagnosis to them and help them find their tribe as early as possible.