“I want you to know that this is not the wholeness of your child, and this is not all I see in them. We are here to do a job.”
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IEP meetings can be intimidating, and teacher, writer, and parent
is here to help.Ryan is an educator and parent to a twice-exceptional child. In this episode of the Atypical Kids Mindful Parents Podcast, we talked about the challenges of balancing intensive caregiving seasons, and the importance of parental self-compassion. In particular, we focused on the Individualized Education Program (IEP) process.
We Share Our Personal Stories, Challenges, and Practical Strategies
Ryan understands from both sides of the table how to effectively advocate for your child's education. We also discuss our struggles to balance self-care, and strategies for building a respectful, supportive relationship with teachers. Join us for an insightful discussion aimed at creating a more understanding and inclusive educational environment.
We also explored the importance of creating relational rituals, advocating for better communication between parents and teachers, and practical practices to maintain mental and emotional well-being. The episode wraps up with a guided mindfulness practice for parents, encouraging tranquility and resilience.
The most impactful part of the conversation for me was Ryan’s perspective as a teacher conducting IEP meetings, and her advice and strategies for stressed out parents.
“The way that I would explain it to parents when preparing for an IEP meeting is…
“My job is to get as many services for your child as possible at no cost to you. I have to make a case for that by marshalling all the evidence for why they need it. It is really hard to listen to this evidence.”
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Please review Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents on Apple Podcasts
Understanding the Struggles
Ryan shared her story of navigating her child's struggles in a Montessori school setting, and discovering her son’s sensory integration issues and motor delays. It was a moment many of us can relate to—seeing our vibrant children struggling in settings meant to nurture them. It was a reminder of how crucial it is for schools to see beyond behavior and understand the underlying struggles.
IEP Meetings: A Space for Advocacy and Reflection
On the subject of IEP meetings, Ryan’s insights struck a chord. She likened these meetings to court proceedings, explaining, "I am your lawyer, and my job is to get as many services for your child as possible." The reality of viewing IEPs through this lens is both strategic and distressing.
Ryan emphasized, “An IEP meeting is not a mirror,” which reminds us that these moments are snapshots, not declarations of our child's worth or potential.
The Importance of Self-Care and Compassion
One of the most resonant parts of our discussion was the essential need for self-care. We explored the guilt that can accompany taking time for ourselves. Ryan offered insights into how she balanced her own self-care through creative practices like movement and writing. She pointed out, "If I take the time to write about my experience, is that really bad for my child?"
Creating Rituals for Balance and Support
We also discussed the profound impact of rituals for both self-care and fostering relationships. The idea of supporting ourselves with both personal and relational rituals provides a framework for entering challenging spaces with more peace.
"Creating rituals allows us to move from fight or flight into a more open and receptive place.”
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I hope you’ll give it a listen…
Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction to Atypical Kids Mindful Parents Podcast
00:43 Introduction to Ryan Rose Weaver
01:47 Challenges in Early Education
03:02 Discovering Sensory Integration Issues
04:30 Navigating the IEP Process
08:18 Creative Practices as Survival Instinct
08:59 Balancing Parental Identity and Self-Care
09:28 The Importance of Self-Tending
10:15 Challenges in the Education System
16:01 Teacher-Parent Relationships
17:02 Preparing for IEP Meetings
18:11 Advocating for Children in IEP Meetings
25:05 Creating Rituals for Self and Relational Care
27:54 Including Children in IEP Meetings
34:22 Mindfulness and Support Practices
41:45 Conclusion and Guest Information
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Thank you for walking alongside me on this journey.
We’ve got another episode with Ryan coming in 2 weeks. Meanwhile, would you please give Atypical Kids, Mindful Parent Podcast a review? I’d be grateful.
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