Parents, do you really need another condescending person telling you that you should be practicing self-care?
I mean, it’s just another thing on the list when we’re already so tired and stressed and frustrated. Right?
That’s why I prefer the term self-respect, or self-honoring. Those don’t take extra time or require us to do anything at all. It’s a mindset. A mindset we can model for our kids.
Let’s dispel a few myths:
1. Self-care is self-improvement. Self-care doesn’t need to be earned, and it isn’t about changing you. Authentic self-care supports your inherent goodness.
2. Self-care is self-indulgence. There’s nothing wrong with numbing out, but if you feel regretful afterwards, that’s not self-care. When we avoid our stress, it will still be there to deal with later.
3. Self-care is specific things on a list written by someone other than you. You get to define what self care is for you.
Authentic self-care nourishes, energizes and grounds you by working on the root issue: the unnecessary backlog of tension in your body.
I don’t want to go around holding on to all of the stress that has built up over the years of advocating for my neurodivergent kid, navigating a world that dehumanizes them, and being expected to figure it out on my own as an unpaid second or third job.
Of COURSE we don’t have time for spa days!
The thing is, our kids are learning emotional regulation by watching us. Self-regulation can’t be taught, it has to be modeled.
Authentic self-care doesn’t use up your time or energy, it frees up your energy by giving you more awareness of what is and isn’t serving you. If a self regulation practice isn’t useful in 30 seconds, stop doing it. Try something else.
When we are more regulated, we will not only be there for our kids, we will be present for ourselves.
We’re breaking cycles to co-create a more inclusive future. Thank you for going on this journey with me.
Your comments, ratings and reviews mean a lot to me, and help other parents find our community.
Connect with Kate Lynch:
Mindfully Parenting Atypical Kids Website: https://www.healthyhappyyoga.com/mindfully-parenting-atypical-kids
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz4pioYjeRIsY_7Gs8ZXKGg
Share this post