What Are 3 Words That Describe What's Special About You?
Now that we can chat with each other here, I'd love to know more about you, and I'd also love for you to benefit from a moment of self-reflection.
There are traits essential to me that I'm proud of: empathy, creativity, and loyalty.
Then there are the things about myself that I struggle with. Today I'd list sensitivity, anxiety, and forgetfulness. These things are more mutable. They change over time. Ask me tomorrow and that list would be different.
One thing that I've struggled with since I can remember is being especially hard on myself.
I guess that's why I continue to practice and teach growth mindset, self-acceptance and self-compassion: because they help me to forgive myself, honor myself, and be kind to myself. Then, that kindness flows outward.
I just want you to know, if you tend to be hard on yourself, you are not alone.
Parents are especially susceptible to internalized criticism, and neurodiverse families are often hit hardest, because of the ableism we have to untangle both internally and in the world. If as parents we can be more self-accepting, we will be able to provide a more accepting environment for our children. When kids feel less judged, at least at home, then they can relax. When our families are more relaxed, we will be able to think more clearly, take risks, trust ourselves, and be present with each other.
Self-acceptance isn't a skill we learn once. It is a practice, and it begins with self-reflection. This is important: Self-reflection is not the same as self-criticism.
Here’s an example I use with my students: When you go to the doctor, they will ask you what the problem is. Do you say "Oh, I don't want to complain..." and not tell them of your struggles? I really hope not. We need information in order to have an accurate diagnosis. That information includes both our strengths and challenges. I can't overstate the importance of being aware of the truth of who we are.
When I’ve done my self-reflection and self-acceptance work, I’m a calmer, more confident parent.
Once we are willing to look at ourselves, we can start to accept, then have compassion for, and finally love our whole selves.
We can have awareness of our traits without beating ourselves up or bragging. Knowing your strengths and your core values isn't selfish, because you can use your self-knowledge to be of service. You can be more present in all your relationships. As a parent, if I’m stuck in guilt or self-criticism, I’ll act out by avoiding, judging or yelling.
So, let's do an exercise.
We have a new subscriber chat feature. It’s a private space for us to connect and support each other. Let’s use it to grow and learn about ourselves and each other.
Pause for a moment, and ask yourself, "What makes me, me? What values are essential to me? What strengths are central to me?"
Then comment in the chat (see below) with 3 words to describe yourself.
Join our new subscriber chat!
A private space for us to connect and support each other.
Today I’m announcing a brand new addition to my Substack publication: the Atypical Kids, Mindful Parents Blog subscriber chat. This is a private space in the Substack app that I set up just for my subscribers — kind of like a group chat (or a supportive parent group).
I’ll post short prompts, thoughts, and updates that come my way, and you can jump into the discussion. This is the first one, and I really look forward to us all getting to know each other through this thread.
To join our chat, for now you’ll need to download the Substack app (messages are sent via the app, not email). Hopefully soon chat will come to desktop. Turn on push notifications so you don’t miss a chance to join the conversation as it happens.
If you can’t access chat yet, you can still comment below with your 3 words.
How to get started
Download the app by clicking this link or the button below. Chat is only on iOS for now, but chat is coming to the Android app soon.
Open the app and tap the Chat icon. It looks like two bubbles in the bottom bar, and you’ll see a row for my chat inside.
That’s it! Comment in our thread with your 3 words, and if you have any issues, check out Substack’s FAQ.
Come on over and say hi!
I'd love to know more about you, and I'd also love for you to benefit from a moment of self-reflection. As a reminder, here is the question:
Pause for a moment, and ask yourself, "What makes me, me? Then comment in the chat with 3 words to describe what's special about you.