Self-Empathy On Sunday Morning

Becoming a mindful parent is hard on the days when despair is my default.

This morning I was reading Judith Hanson Lasater's book Teaching Yoga with Intention, the part about giving oneself empathy. My 11 year old son Ocean was taking a rare nap, entangled with me on the couch under an especially fuzzy, cozy blanket. In those moments it is so easy to believe I can communicate in a peaceful, empathetic way. I've been practicing for years, having been introduced to nonviolent communication through the books How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and What We Say Matters, another gem by Judith Hanson Lasater (with her husband Ike).

Then I felt a headache coming, and self-massage wasn't helping. I wanted so badly to get up and take something to make it stop. It became less delicious and more excruciating every minute that I delayed. When I did extract myself (as slowly as I had when he was a toddler who would only nap attached to me), Ocean woke up. I felt regret, longing for the precious moment to continue, a…