The Power of Gratitude: Overcoming Resentment as Parents of Atypical Kids
If you feel resentful about ableism and injustice, you're not alone, and you can do something.
When I’m feeling resentful, I don’t skip my gratitude practice.
Explore this powerful antidote to resentment - a gratitude meditation with a mudra and affirmation simple enough to become part of a daily gratitude practice.
You can even teach this one to your kids.
Discover how a consistent practice of gratitude can help you navigate moments of resentment and find equilibrium in your life…
Gratitude Practice:
Mudra: Pushpaputa.
Affirmation: Thank you thank you thank you...
After watching this video and practicing along, you may be able to answer the following questions:
What are some strategies for getting your needs met and setting boundaries, even in situations where you can’t control the external factors?
In what ways can a gratitude practice help us as parents to find equilibrium and balance in our lives, despite the challenges we face?
Why is gratitude particularly important for parents of kids with disabilities in navigating our parenting journey?
There are so many obstacles and inequities to overcome.
Especially as parents of atypical kids, we often face unique challenges, as our world and culture don’t fully support us. The days are long, and the nights often feel much too short.
Resentment can arise, and that is reasonable!
“We are all broken by something. We have all hurt someone and have been hurt. We all share the condition of brokenness even if our brokenness is not equivalent. But our shared brokenness connects us.”
-Bryan Stevenson
Gratitude allows us to embrace a sense of wholeness. When you’re filled up, you will have something to give. I’ll guide through a gratitude meditation that can help you balance your breath and feel both more receptive and more generous. As they say, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
Gratitude practice can’t be bound by circumstances.
Feelings change. Sometimes we feel crappy, sometimes we feel great. They are messages we can learn from - even resentment. Resentment comes from longing - the feeling that something is missing. There's plenty to feel resentful about, especially as parents of atypical kids, because our ableist culture doesn't support our needs or respect our children's rights. Resentment is a reasonable response to what this world offers us a lot of the time.
But it doesn't feel good sitting in our bodies, and we need ways to move it through despite our unjust circumstances. Gratitude can act as an antidote, reminding us that we are already whole.
Yes, you have the capacity to hold all these contradictions. Daily life goes up and down, and your practice can be a consistent through line that steadies you. Just like any habit, it gets easier.
If your feelings are messengers, what are they telling you?
Ask yourself:
Are my boundaries respected?
Are my needs being met?
How can I meet my own needs?
Or, if that's not possible, how can I find equanimity anyway?
Gratitude can shift our mindset, but it can't change the culture. We can begin that work once we’re self-regulated, resourced, and united. Remember, you're not alone, and together, we can use gratitude as a powerful antidote to resentment… Then, take on the more systemic challenges we face, together.
Focusing on your own self-care will bring your whole family more harmony and joy. In one generation we can eradicate shame so our atypical kids can grow up thriving in an inclusive, equitable and empathetic world. Everyone benefits from equitable and inclusive culture, and we can eradicate shame through our everyday choices.
Please try this practice to grow your gratitude muscle, which can lead to overflowing compassion for self and others. As we do this empowering work together, we will embody self-compassion, bringing our families and communities together in deeper truth and healing.
Want to learn more, and practice in a likeminded community?
If you tend to be hard on yourself, and want to change that, join me to learn mindfulness-based gratitude and self-compassion practices…
Radical Gratitude: Meditation & Journaling
Online Monday, November 20 11-11:45 am Eastern
Do you ever feel blocked from receiving kindness?
Do you want to connect with yourself?
“Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.”
-Brené Brown
Learn mindfulness-based gratitude practices.
Receive guided relaxation to release tension.
Journal to reflect with curiosity.
Replenish, so you can return to your life with a new perspective.
Join us online on Monday, November 20 11-11:45 am Eastern, as my guest:
I recently mentioned the benefits of keeping a Gratitude Journal for autism parents in my last podcast episode, "Embracing Joy Every Day" (https://www.at.familyspectrum.co/p/embracing-joy-every-day). I'm happy to read this!
Kate, this was really perfect for this particular season of my mothering. Thank you for naming that it’s not fair, and that’s not our fault, and that still, when we open our hands, it remains possible to receive what is still good about this world.