How to Navigate the Complexities of Mental Health Within Families
Shelley Karpaty shares insightful stories from her journey parenting a child diagnosed with a mental health crisis.
Healing My Self Worth Through the 9 Year Journey of My Child's Psychosis:
This is a space where we explore the joys, struggles, and profound learning experiences of raising our neurodivergent kids of all ages and diagnoses.
Through the lens of mindfulness,
shares her deeply personal journey of parenting a child diagnosed with schizophrenia, weaving in stories of resilience, healing, and self-discovery. is a writer, meditation guide, and mental health advocate. She is committed to learning by doing, by writing, by meditating, by breathing life into each space with presence for vulnerability, authenticity, and to reduce stigma. Her specialty is holding space for parents of neurodivergent children for supportive healing. You’ll find her at !Holding Both Joy & Sorrow
Shelley begins by acknowledging the dual nature of emotions. “We can hold sorrow with joy at the same time,” she says. As parents, we often juggle contrasting feelings—happiness in the moment while grappling with worries about the world or our family.
She emphasizes that social expectations of motherhood often limit us to a single archetype, when in reality, we’re capable of embodying many. “Can we just stop for a moment and see it all? Witness it so we can see that we are worthy,” Shelley suggests, highlighting her ongoing journey of overcoming feelings of unworthiness.
Clawing Back from Crisis: A Real-Life Heroine's Journey
Shelley recounts the pivotal moment of her son’s psychotic break—a turning point that plunged her into a journey of self-exploration and healing. Through struggle and reflection, she reframed her experience, choosing to see challenges as happening for her, rather than to her.
Embracing Self-Care: The Oxygen Mask Analogy
Kate feels that the “put your oxygen mask on first” metaphor is overused. Parents who feel guilty about self-care may need something else. “It feels really cliché.” Shelley insists that mothers must care for themselves, noting, “We just have to want it.”
Shelley shares her personal methods of self-care, which range from enjoying foreign TV that demands her full attention to taking long, mindful walks. Her strategies are grounded in the idea that “where our attention flows, our energy goes.”
Exploring Archetypes and Rediscovering Joy
The conversation shifts to how previous roles are often subsumed by motherhood. Shelley and Kate both reflect on the need to integrate joy and playfulness back into their lives, whether through dancing in the kitchen or spontaneous bursts of creativity. To care for ourselves, “We don’t need to remove ourselves completely as parents,” Kate reminds us.
Finding Community and Support
Shelley discusses the importance of building community through shared experiences. She describes her involvement with Mad in America (MIA) and other supportive groups.
There’s power in storytelling, she notes:
“Mothers are not heard. Their stories are untold. I just felt that all of their stories should be told.”
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Unconditional Love and Brutal Compassion
A key theme in Shelley’s narrative is learning to give herself the same compassion she extends to others. “If we want people to treat us with compassion, we have to give it to ourselves,” she asserts. This involves practicing what she calls “brutal compassion” — maintaining honesty and kindness, even when facing hard truths.
Empathy in the Face of Adversity
Facing potential separation from her husband during her son’s crisis taught Shelley the value of empathy and communication. Moving from the Bay Area to Southern California marked a fresh start. “We’ve come through the fire together,” she reflects, describing how deeply they had to dig to rebuild their relationship.
Shelley closes by affirming the challenges and rewards of parenting:
“You're doing a great job. Trust the process.
And love yourself as much as your kids.”
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Her story isn’t just about overcoming struggles but about finding and spreading kindness, understanding, and community support along the way.
This conversation with Shelley is a reminder that as parents, we are often our harshest critics—but embracing vulnerability, seeking joy, and building connections can help us navigate the path of parenthood with mindfulness and grace.
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