How to Use Empathy to Stay on the Same Team When Your Kid is Struggling

The most important thing you can do when your neurodivergent child is having a hard time is not what you think.

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

We parents don’t have all the answers.

When your kid is stuck, unmotivated, or overwhelmed, it’s hard to think straight. I understand how frustrating that can be, and how hard it is to keep calm when you aren’t sure how to help. We just want to DO SOMETHING to fix it!

If you are fed up with top-down parenting approaches, but you don't know what to do instead, you’re not alone.

If you aren’t able to raise your kid as you were raised, because it just hasn’t worked, you may feel powerless as a parent. That’s understandable. You don’t want to yell and intimidate, but you’re at a loss. Even if you are willing to have the icky, guilt-hangover feeling you get from power-over parenting, you may have noticed that yelling and intimidation stop working eventually. The solution I’m offering is not what you want to hear: slow down.

Try to do less for your child, and simply be with them with no agenda.

The most important thing our kids need when they are struggling is…