Holiday Sanity: Navigating Sensory and Social Peace with Atypical Kids
Design your family's survival guide with mindfulness, flexible planning, communication, and sensory sensitivity in mind.
The HOLIDAYS are coming…
I know they can be intense, especially for neurodiverse families. The change in routine can be tough for our kids, and the pressure to perform for our extended families and communities can be tough on us parents.
You’re not alone in whatever you're feeling. Maybe you're excited, maybe you're stressed, or maybe you're a mix of both. Give yourself some grace.
Flexible Planning
You can address obstacles in advance with a loose plan. One year I was feeling particularly brave, and insisted on discussing my concerns and planning in advance with our host. We talked about what was important to each of us, and what wasn't. We decided that enjoying ourselves as a family was more important than perfect manners or a spotless house. After that conversation, I felt so relieved, and our plan went well! It’s good to have a backup plan in case things don't go according to plan. This could be a quiet activity, a favorite movie, or a sensory fidget.
There’s room for spontaneity too: Be open to unexpected joy and opportunities for connection.
Mindfulness for the Win
One thing that really helps me is mindfulness. It doesn’t take up extra time, while it gives us so much. Practice being fully present in the moment, without judgment. Pay attention to your feelings and sensations, accepting them without trying to change them. Here are a fewe mindfulness activities you can do on your own or with your kids…
Pause, notice your senses, and list out:
5 things you can see
4 things you can hear
3 things you sense on your skin
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
A Little Gratitude Goes a Long Way
We have a daily gratitude practice in our family. At dinner, we each say our rose and thorn. The rose is one thing we are grateful for that day. The thorn is something that was challenging.
Limit Sensory Overload
Designate quiet areas where your child (or anyone) can retreat if they become overwhelmed. We can do our best to minimize noise, bright lights, and strong smells, especially during meal times, but those will happen. The important thing is to believe your child if they are communicating that they need a break. Avoid overloading your schedule, and build in recovery days after very social or intense holidays.
Making it Your Own
The most important thing is to do what works for your family. What do your kids love to do? How about you? What’s most important? Whether it's playing with toys, reading books, a favorite game, or going to the playground, slow down and do it together. Introduce new traditions based on your family’s interests, and retire the rituals that don’t work for you.
There's no one-size-fits-all approach to any holiday.
So relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy the holiday season in your own way. Incorporate what’s truly important to you, and leave the rest. Be mindful of sensory needs, make flexible plans, and communicate these ideas to everyone involved. Spontaneity can be welcome, but surprises, conflict, and judgment will only add to the pressure and overwhelm that neurodiverse families tend to experience during holidays. Don’t be afraid to do things your own way.
What are your plans for the holidays this year?
Any tips to share with other parents? Let's chat in the comments!